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At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other woman replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man"
在一个鸡尾酒舞会上，一个女人对另外一个女人说：“你结婚戒指带错手指了。” 另一个回答说：“嗯，人也嫁错了。”

A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Husband wanted". Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
一位女士在“找丈夫”广告栏目下登了一条启示。次日她收到了上百封信，内容均是：“我可以把我的丈夫让给你。”

When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
如果一个女人偷了你的老公，最好的复仇方式便是让她继续拥有他。

Eighty percent of married men cheat in the U.S.A. The rest cheat in Canada.
在美国80%得男人撒谎，其余的20%在加拿大撒谎。

A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.
女人要到结婚时才算完整，结婚后便完蛋了。

A little boy asked his father, ""Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"" And the father replied, ""I don't know son, I'm still paying.""
小男孩问爸爸：“结婚要花多少钱呀？”
“不知道，”爸爸说，“我还没付完。”

Young son: Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son.
年轻的儿子问爸爸：“这是真的吗？ 在非洲的某国家，男人只有在结婚后才知道太太是谁？”
爸爸：“儿子，这种事情在每个国家都发生。”

Then there was a woman who said, ""I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and by then it was too late.""
有女人曾曰：“直至结婚我才晓得真正的快乐是什么，但是已经太晚了。”

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
婚姻便是想象力战胜智力的成功案例。

If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
如果你想要引起太太对你的每句话都给与极大重视，那么，就在梦中说吧。

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
想想吧，如果不结婚，男人们便会认为自己终生没有范过什么错。

First guy: "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
男一：我太太是个天使！
男二：哥们 你真幸运，我太太她还活着！"